The Fragile Altar of Outcomes: Why Your Confidence Belongs in the Person You're Becoming

In a world obsessed with results—likes, promotions, bank balances, accolades—placing your confidence in the shimmering altar of outcomes is tempting. But this is the most fragile place to anchor your trust. Outcomes are fickle, fleeting, and often beyond your control. They're swayed by chance, timing, and the whims of others. To tether your worth to them is to build a house on shifting sand, always at risk of collapse due to their unpredictable nature.

Instead, place your confidence in the person you're becoming—the one who dares to grow, stumble, and rise again. Trust the process of change, the messy, beautiful journey of transformation. This is where true power lies, not in the fleeting trophies of success, but in the enduring strength of your evolving self, a self that is constantly growing, adapting, and becoming more resilient.

The Illusion of Control Over Outcomes

We live in a culture that glorifies the finish line. We're told to chase the job, the house, and the perfect relationship as if these are the ultimate markers of a life well-lived. However, outcomes are not puppets on a string. You can pour your heart into a project, which might still flop. You can love fiercely, and it might not be returned. You can train relentlessly and still lose the race.

Why? Because outcomes are a cocktail of effort, circumstance, and chaos. The market shifts, a competitor emerges, or a literal or figurative storm disrupts your plans. As the poet Rainer Maria Rilke once said, "The future enters into us long before it happens." The future is not yours to command; it's a force that moves through you, shaped by a variety of factors.

To place your confidence in outcomes is to invite heartbreak. It's like trusting a mirage to quench your thirst. When the mirage fades—as it always does—you're left parched, questioning your worth. But there's a sturdier foundation: the person you're becoming through the pursuit.

"Don't chase the prize; become the person who can carry it."

The Power of Trusting Who You're Becoming

Your outcomes may waver, but the person you're forging in the fire of effort is yours to shape and mold. Every late night spent honing your craft, every risk you take, and every moment you choose courage over comfort are the bricks of your character. They build a resilient, adaptable, and unshakeable self.

Consider the artist who has been painting for years unnoticed. The world may not yet applaud her work, but each stroke of her brush deepens her vision, sharpens her skill, and expands her soul. Her confidence doesn't rest on a gallery exhibition; it lives in the artist she's becoming—one who sees beauty in the mundane and dares to translate it onto canvas.

Or think of the entrepreneur who faces rejection after rejection. The pitch may fail, but the lessons learned—such as grit, creativity, and persistence—mold a leader ready for the next challenge. Their trust isn't in the deal that didn't close but in the innovator, they're evolving into.

"Your outcomes don't define you; they refine you."

Confidence in the Process of Change

Change is the only constant, and those who embrace it thrive. Trust in the people who are changing—yourself included. These are those who aren't afraid to shed, question, or rebuild old skins. They're the ones who understand that life is not a destination but a series of transformations.

When you trust the process of change, you stop fearing failure. A setback becomes a detour, not a dead end. You begin to see every experience as a teacher, every struggle as a sculptor chiseling away at the raw marble of your potential. This is where confidence grows—not in the fragile hope of a perfect outcome but in the certainty that you're becoming someone capable of navigating whatever comes next.

Surround yourself with others who are going through a period of change. These are the dreamers, the doers who wake up each day and choose to evolve. Their energy is contagious, their courage a mirror for your own.

Together, you'll build a community of growth where confidence isn't borrowed from external wins but generated from within.

"Bet on the person you're building, not the finish line you're chasing."

The Unshakable Foundation

Outcomes will always be a gamble, but the person you're becoming is a certainty you can control. Every choice to learn, persevere, and grow is a deposit in your character's bank. This is the wealth that no market crash can touch, and no rejection can diminish. Regardless of the future, it's a rock-solid foundation you can always rely on.

So, let go of the need to predict or perfect your results. Stop placing your confidence in the fragile altar of outcomes. Instead, trust the hands shaping you—the ones that tremble, falter, and keep going. Trust the heart that dares to dream, the mind that learns from every fall. Trust the change process and the people brave enough to embrace it.

"The real victory is who you become while chasing the dream."

Ultimately, the most powerful confidence is not in your achievement but in who you become. That foundation will hold, no matter what the world throws your way. Build there, and you'll never crumble.

"Your confidence isn't in the outcome—it's in the courage to keep becoming."

We are NU Breed; the rumor is that something is good.

Lil Johnson's confidence lies in who she is becoming, and it is reflected in her improved court play.